So today I felt like blogging about something a little bit different to usual but I feel like it’s important to blog about — this blog is going to be about high-school and overcoming the things that life throws at you.
I’ not going to lie to you – highschool has literally been the worst 5 years of my life and I cannot wait to leave. I’ve just found it overwhelmingly hard like so many other people ou there which is why I think it’s so important to write this blog post.
I personally didn’t deal with things well — at all. A lot of the time I filled in the gaps for myself without actually communicating with people which a lot of the time made me think things were – not necessarily worse – but different to how they actually were and I often didn’t communicate with the people who the issues were with much at all until things had escalated rapidly. But I did come through it and I have definitely learnt a lot from these past five years.
I now have a few steps that I always follow whenever there is an argument or a dispute between me and my friends and I can honestly say it’s helped me sort out problems and deal with things so much easily, so here are my steps:
1.Take a shower
This is perhaps the most random of all the steps but it really does help. Take a shower and cry it out — or think of what you would say if that person was there – basically win the fake argument before the real on begins. By doing this you get all your emotions out in a way that won’t have consequences, and so you can start to think about the whole thing much more rationally and try to work out the best way of saying what you want to say so that your point can come across as clearly as possible — as lets be honest the worst thing that can happen in an argument is not knowing what to say and then thinking of what you should have said when it’s too late.
2.Think everything through
By now now your head should hopefully be much clearer so start thinking everything through. Think “ok so this is how I’m going to confront a person about this” or think “this is how I’m going to hopefully minimise the damage” which brings me onto step number 3.
3. Make a plan of action.
This sounds almost like a plan to murder someone or something — don’t do that. All I mean by a ‘plan of action’ is plan out what your going to do and try to think of the possible outcomes of doing this to make sure that whatever you do won’t cause any more upset as that’s the last thing you want — and remember that weather the outcome is good or bad that you need to try to keep things as civil as possible so that the issue can be resolved as painlessly and quickly as possible. Also try not to let your anger get the better of you, f your really angry try to take a step back until you calm down a bit and if necessary get all your anger out by writing it all down on a piece of paper then ripping that paper up.
4. Don’t click send if your angry
This is more of a sidenote than a step but if your plan of action involves sending a message DON’T DO IT if your angry. Simply because intentional or not your angers probably going to come across in the message which is not going to help the situation.
Communication is vital – and note how I didn’t say talk or scream or shout – that’s because it’s important yes to get your point across but it’s probably more important to listen to what that person says because there may be a very reasonable explanation or if they are in the wrong then hopefully they’ll apologise and if they don’t apologise if they’re in the wrong then at least you know what’s gone on and where you stand.
6. Be honest
Yes it’s true, honestly really is the best policy. If your in the wrong trust me when I say this – there is no point lying about it or trying to blame other people. Often people know more than you think and so will know if your lying and if you really are good friends with this person they’ll be able to tell if you are lying so just don’t do it ok? It doesn’t help anyone least of all you. So apologise and explain and if they’re not prepared to forgive you then unfortunetley there’s nothing you can do, but 9/10 times I can guarantee you they’ll forgive you even if they’re mad for a little while they’ll come around trust me.
7. Try to understand
If your in the wrong try to understand that they are likely to be upset or annoyed for a little while so maybe try to keep a low profile for a few days or do what you think you’d want if you were in there shoes. On the other hand, try to understand why the person may have done what they did and even if you can’t if they seem genuinely sorry try to be as forgiving as you feel you can as we are all human and we all make mistakes right???
So these are my tips for dealing with friendship problems and a little bit about the problems with friends I’ve had in high school. When it comes to dealing with being upset my 3 top tips are 1.Cry it out, 2.Write it all down to express it in a healthy way and 3.Talk to your friends about it — or anyone really because their there for a reason and they may help you see things from a different perspective that may help sort the issues out.
As for highschool? It sucks it really does, and it’s not just you, it’s everyone it sucks for and unfortunetley that’s the way it is but luckily it is just a few years of your life where you really find yourself so try to hang on a little longer and luck forward to the future!!!!
Bye for now,